Curious

Well, it has been a while since I have posted on my blog.  It was a huge disappointment when we received the results from the pregnancy test.  There had been a lot of time, money, and effort put into the process.  My ultimate goal is for Abby and Aaron to bring their bundle of joy home and to know that the invitro had been unsuccessful was devastating.

So to get you up to speed after my time of silence.  I have had many people ask me whether we are still pursuing the gestational carrier journey.  Well of course.... We are currently in the process again.  Please keep us in your prayers as we continue this journey.

Medicine and the side effects

The bruise

The needle and a colored pencil for perspective

Well it's been well over a month of medicines for me. I completed my round of birth control on March 11th. I began taking Lupron on that same day. Clearly I wasn't thinking when I decided to stop drinking caffeine cold turkey that same day. I had the worst headache ever that evening. I almost vomited, it was so severe. I felt pretty bad for the first half of the week, but my body adjusted and I survived :) The medicine caused me to have a lingering headache for weeks. The headache wasn't excruciating like the first one, but it was annoying. I decided it was probably not only the Lupron's fault but a combination of caffeine cravings, sinus pressure and the Lupron. Abby called the doctor to see if I could take sinus medicine, but sinus medicines cause a decrease in the lining of the uterus. Who would've known, right? So sinus meds weren't an option.

After taking the Lupron injections for a week, I began applying estrogen patches. Apply one, leave it on for 2 days, take it off, add 2 more. I added patches until I was wearing 4. They are spread from one hip to another now. I will be wearing patches for awhile. I found an awesome way to get the gross sticky residue off without rubbing my skin raw..... Mary Kay eye makeup remover. I tried this product because it takes fake tattoos off of the kids without any harsh scrubbing. Oh and I just love Mary Kay products. Anyway. I was taking a shot of Lupron and rotating patches as directed every morning. This combination caused some tears for no reasons. If you missed my last post about my emotional meltdown, you can read it here. I had several tear filled evenings that accompanied this combination of medicine. They weren't as extreme as the emotional meltdown though.

I finished taking the Lupron and I was very thankful.  I had a week long break from injections. Praise The Lord. I found that the longer I gave the shots, the more difficult it was for me to give it to myself.   I began the progesterone shots. The progesterone is in oil. The liquid is quite thick and pulling it into the  syringe takes some time. I then change the needle to a 23 gauge. This shot is inter muscular so it must be injected into the hip/rear end area.

I went for a visit to Jacksonville for a checkup (you'll hear more about this soon and no it wasnt for the invitro). I asked the nurse to draw boxes where the shots could be given. The last thing I need is to hit a nerve or aggravate my back. She drew a box on either side for me. She also gave me the first injection so I had an idea of how it would feel. Needless to say, the shot was rather painless. The next day I had to give myself the shot. Eric was gone and someone had to do it. I'm very independent so after I convinced myself to do it.... I did it! I was very proud of myself. Haha.  I gave myself shots or a few days, but the left side was hard to do. I am right handed so twisting to the left side and stabbing yourself with a needle is challenging. I decided to let Eric try giving the injection. I told him all the directions and let him give it. He did a great job.  The progesterone has started to bruise me. Eric tries to move around the boxes on my hips to keep it from being so sore.

So for now, it's injections and patches. All is well. Please remember that I will not and can not disclose the date for the invitro. If I'm asked, you will probably get an answer like this "I can not disclose the date of the ivf for privacy reasons." Just know it is sooner rather than later and all prayers are appreciated :)

I thought you'd enjoy some pictures so in the pictures above you will see the needle and my poor bruised and very sore hip. The dark bruise was yesterday's shot. The lighter bruise on the right was from a few days ago.

Funny moments of Insanity

Here recently, I have had some rather entertaining battles with my emotions. Mostly it's random crying for no reason.  If you knew my premedication self, I'm easy going most of the time. I am not an emotional person. I rarely cry and if I do I'm probably stark raving lunatic mad :). Although you may catch me at church with a few tears, I'm not your "cry at chick flicks" type.

So a couple of weekends ago, Eric and I had a friend's wedding we were getting ready for. I wanted a new dress and shoes for the event, so I decided to go shopping. The night before, I had bought a new pair of shoes, but being the Sasquatch I am, they didn't fit. (FYI: I wear a size 11) Shoes are impossible! Eric, child #2, and I went to return the shoes and look for a dress. As we were looking, every dress I saw I wasn't happy with. Eric's zooming around the store looking for the perfect dress for me. He finally finds a dress that I approve of and as we walk to the register to return the shoes and buy the dress, I see a coworker/friend of mine. She asks me how my day was and in a sudden burst of insanity, I fall to pieces for absolutely no reason. These weren't tiny lady-like tears, they were sobs. While I'm sobbing like a fool in the store, I'm also laughing because it is so ridiculous! The poor clerk was staring at me, Eric, and my friend. I couldn't talk, breathe, or explain my craziness. Thank goodness my friend understands this whole process because I was a sight. She looked at me and in one word explained it all "Hormones!" I nodded, went to the makeup counter, grabbed some tissue and bought the dress. I am pretty positive Eric was shocked and embarrassed by my outburst. (Remember he's been married to a woman who rarely cries)

Later that day, my mother in law was staying with the girls while Eric and I went to the wedding. I was getting dressed and I over heard child #2 telling my mother in law "Wela (Grandma), mama had a melt down in the store."  Of course I explained the "meltdown" to my mother in law and child #2. Yes honey,  that was an official Mommy meltdown :)

So if I'm acting a little different, you now know why. Keep us in your prayers as we continue this journey.

Questions, questions, questions

I have had so many questions over the last 2 months and I wanted to address many of them.  I know many of you probably have similar questions about the process.


Q1. Did you know Abby and Aaron?  No, I didn't know Abby and Aaron.  I know some of their family members and we have several friends in common.  We had never met before. You can read about our meeting here.

Q2. Why do you have to have a contract?  The contract is the legal aspect of the process. The doctors would not even see us without a contract.  The contract was 60+ pages long. It contained many different facets of our agreement.  It outlined the procedure and what could be expected. It discussed who would be responsible for medical bills. The contract discussed risks of each medicine and each procedure.  I even had to fill out an advanced directive in case something happened to me.  EVERYTHING. If you can think of it, it was probably outlined in the paperwork. 

Q3. How does Eric (my husband) feel? Eric and I have discussed surrogacy many times.  He knew that I told a friend in high school that I would gladly carry a child for her after I had my own.  Actually about 2 months prior to meeting Abby and Aaron, I had researched Surrogacy/ gestational carrier agencies and we discussed it then.   After we met Abby and Aaron for the first time, there was no doubt that this is what we were called to do.  So to answer the question, he is very supportive of this endeavor. 

Q4.  How much does this process cost? The process is VERY expensive.  Since we haven't been through the whole process, I do not know the final number. I can say that it will be at least $25,000 or more from our perspective now. There is some help from insurance and any savings is better than none.

Q5.  If you get pregnant naturally, why do you have to take all of these medicines?  You can find the answer to this question here.

Q6.  What about your children?  I hear this question a lot.  I have discussed the process with my oldest daughter who is 9.  She is more aware of how our bodies function than the other girls, so the conversation was easy.  I put it into terms that she could understand.  I told her how Mrs. Abby and Mr. Aaron's baby would be put into my body when it was really really small.  I discussed with her how it was their baby and when it was born, it would go home with them.  She was okay with that much information.  As for the younger 3 girls, I want to wait until there is a viable pregnancy. Children at their ages (7,5,3) are very concrete and seeing is believing. 

Q7. Why do you want to have someone else's baby?  I look at how special my own children are to me and I want others to know that same joy.  To be able to offer someone that opportunity is amazing. It is one thing in my life that is completely selfless.

Q8. What if the baby is a boy? Great!! Abby and Aaron will love their little ball player or ballerina.  I know why people ask this question.  For those of you that don't know, Eric and I have 4 daughters.  I guess boys weren't in the cards for us. I am totally okay with the baby being a girl or a boy.

Q9. Gestational carrier versus surrogate?  I wanted to give you a piece of information about surrogacy/gestational carrier. The reason I am called a gestational carrier is because I will carry an embryo made completely of Abby's egg and Aaron's sperm. Surrogacy often implies traditional surrogacy in which a woman is inseminated with the sperm of a man who is not her partner to conceive. It is just terminology, but I have had someone ask if we would be doing this the traditional way and the answer is no.

Q10. How many embryos are they going to implant? We have discussed several different options and possible outcomes.  I know for sure there will not be more than 2 embryos implanted at one time.  There is a 60% chance of a single pregnancy and a 40% chance of twins with 2 embryos being implanted. 



THE 2 MOST COMMONLY ASKED...

1. When are you going for the invitro/implant?  Well Abby and Aaron have asked that we keep this private, so I am unable to disclose the date. Just know that it is sooner rather than later.

2. How are you going to be able to give the baby up?  The baby isn't mine.  It is 100% Abby and Aaron's.  I am finished having my own children. My quiver is full and my house is doubly full. This will be their little blessing that they can enjoy at 3AM. :)    


Well I hope this Q&A session answered some of your questions. Feel free to email, facebook, or comment anytime. I'm not easily embarassed by personal questions (just ask my coworkers and Abby). 

Medicine

I have had many people asking what our next step is. Well it's Medicine. When I tell people that I have to take medicine to prepare my body, they usually look at me funny. So if you're thinking "Doesn't your body naturally prepare for pregnancy?" You are not alone. So here's your answer.... Yes my body does naturally prepare for pregnancy every month, but this isn't your typical pregnancy. Mine and Abby's bodies must be aligned properly for this procedure to work. I had a friend tell me one time that our bodies are like nests. Our body builds the nest in preparation for an egg. If there's no egg, then the nest falls apart. So in this case, the doctors use medicines to encourage my body to have the perfect nest for the egg(embryo).

For almost two months, Abby and I have been taking birth control to help align our cycles.  Thankfully this wasn't difficult. Once we went on our visit to the F.I.R.M, they gave us the list of medicines for each of us.
Here's my list:
Birth control
Lupron
Progesterone
Vivelle dots

The Lupron shots will begin on Monday March 11th.  I will give myself a Lupron shot every morning. It is given in the thigh so I will rotate legs every morning. Lupron suppresses the pituitary gland. The pituitary gland produces the hormones that cause ovulation. Therefore the Lupron prevents me from ovulating. I call this the menopause phase. I'll get to experience the loveliness of menopause at 30 :).

In addition to the Lupron, I will then add Vivelle dots. These are estrogen patches.  I will begin by wearing 1 patch. I will wear the patch for 2 days then remove it and add 2 more patches. So the cycle is apply 1 remove it 2 days later, add 2 patches remove 2 days later. I will continue this cycle until I am wearing 4 patches at a time.  Thank goodness I have a calendar to keep me straight.

The next medicine will be Progesterone shots. The progesterone prepares the uterus to accept the embryo. The progesterone will help support the pregnancy later in the process also. These shots are what I am most nervous about.  The medicine is quite thick and they can leave good size knots on my back side.  If the medicine is thick, you can guarantee the needle is a good size.  So now you're wondering who is going to give these shots.  Well... I'm going to let Eric. He'll do great I'm sure.

So this is the medicine regimen for awhile.  The process is very detailed. Abby has her own regimen of medicines that she has to take too. Keep us in your prayers as we proceed.

Next up.... Your questions :) feel free to ask. I will make a list of the most common questions I have been asked in the past couple of months, but if you have questions I will try to answer to the best of my knowledge.

The 1st Visit

As I laid in bed the night before the first visit, I was so nervous. It's the unknown that is difficult. What would they ask at the psychological evaluation? Would the mock trial IVF hurt? The thoughts ran on and on. The morning came real early that day, February 20th. Abby and Aaron showed up at 3:45am. We headed down to Jacksonville,FL to the Florida Institute for Reproductive Medicine (F.I.R.M). Our appointment was at 7 am and it was a long drive.

When we arrived, I had to fill out the usual new patient paperwork. Then they called me to the back. It was time to give blood.  I am pretty sure they took 6 or so vials to check for every disease imaginable. Next, I met with the nurse coordinator. She ran through my list of medicines and how to administer them. I'll give you the list and their purposes in another post.

Next I had the mock or trial invitro and an ultrasound. During this process, the doctor is looking at the uterus. He wanted to make sure everything looked good. I was worried this would be painful, but it wasn't. A little uncomfortable, but nothing terrible.

The last step was the psychological evaluation. I sat in front of the psychologist as she asked about my family history, my life, and my relationship/friendship with Abby and Aaron. I think her goal was to find out how I would react with the change in control after the birth. Near the end, the psychologist asked me a series of questions that were required. I have to admit they were strange. For example, "Fold this piece of paper and put it on the floor"  " Write a sentence" "Count backward from 100 by 7s".  Next, Abby and I were brought in together and we discussed many aspects of the pregnancy and post pregnancy.  Everything went great I think.

Then we left, had a great lunch at Cheescake Factory and drove home.  We are looking forward to the next step. Next up.... Medicine



Kristi

Aaron, Kristi, Abby

In The Beginning...

Welcome to my new blog! 

To give everyone an idea of what this blog is about, I will give you some information about myself and the journey I am embarking on. 

I am Kristi Gonzales. My husband, Eric, and I have been married for 10 years.  We have 4 beautiful daughters.  We live in a small town in south Georgia.  I work as a Pre-K teacher in our local school. 

In December 2012, I was in the computer lab at school working.  Abby's mother, who is also a teacher, came into the lab. I had heard about Abby and Aaron's story, but I didn't know about it in great detail.  I knew that she had lost 2 babies in a short period of time.  It had to be the Lord working, because I asked Abby's mother how they were doing.  She began to tell me that Abby would have to have a gestational carrier due to her medical condition.  I told her that I had always liked the idea of surrogacy and that I was interested.  A few days later, I received an email from Abby.  After a few emails and telephone calls we decided to have dinner.

Eric and I met Abby and Aaron for dinner a few days after Christmas.  I had never met either of them, so I was quite nervous.  Lets just say... we had a great dinner full of laughs.  For 4 people to meet for the first time and be able to communicate openly was amazing.  It was like we had known them for ages.  Abby and Aaron took us down the agonizing story about their babies, Jonah and Harper.  My heart ached for them. 

At this point, I believe we all 4 began to pray for guidance from God. It has been the most amazing process to see God working.  If you have never researched the IVF and gestational carrier process, it is extremely expensive.  Abby and Aaron's friends and family began to find ways to raise the money for the process.  It began with a benefit sing. In January 2013, Three for One performed for the benefit sing and it raised $7,000.  Next Abby's family and friends worked together to put a cookbook together.  It sold many copies and raised nearly $10,000. So in a matter of 2 months, family and friends raised $17,000.

So here we are... the process begins.  Stay tuned for the rest of the story.

~Kristi