Questions, questions, questions

I have had so many questions over the last 2 months and I wanted to address many of them.  I know many of you probably have similar questions about the process.


Q1. Did you know Abby and Aaron?  No, I didn't know Abby and Aaron.  I know some of their family members and we have several friends in common.  We had never met before. You can read about our meeting here.

Q2. Why do you have to have a contract?  The contract is the legal aspect of the process. The doctors would not even see us without a contract.  The contract was 60+ pages long. It contained many different facets of our agreement.  It outlined the procedure and what could be expected. It discussed who would be responsible for medical bills. The contract discussed risks of each medicine and each procedure.  I even had to fill out an advanced directive in case something happened to me.  EVERYTHING. If you can think of it, it was probably outlined in the paperwork. 

Q3. How does Eric (my husband) feel? Eric and I have discussed surrogacy many times.  He knew that I told a friend in high school that I would gladly carry a child for her after I had my own.  Actually about 2 months prior to meeting Abby and Aaron, I had researched Surrogacy/ gestational carrier agencies and we discussed it then.   After we met Abby and Aaron for the first time, there was no doubt that this is what we were called to do.  So to answer the question, he is very supportive of this endeavor. 

Q4.  How much does this process cost? The process is VERY expensive.  Since we haven't been through the whole process, I do not know the final number. I can say that it will be at least $25,000 or more from our perspective now. There is some help from insurance and any savings is better than none.

Q5.  If you get pregnant naturally, why do you have to take all of these medicines?  You can find the answer to this question here.

Q6.  What about your children?  I hear this question a lot.  I have discussed the process with my oldest daughter who is 9.  She is more aware of how our bodies function than the other girls, so the conversation was easy.  I put it into terms that she could understand.  I told her how Mrs. Abby and Mr. Aaron's baby would be put into my body when it was really really small.  I discussed with her how it was their baby and when it was born, it would go home with them.  She was okay with that much information.  As for the younger 3 girls, I want to wait until there is a viable pregnancy. Children at their ages (7,5,3) are very concrete and seeing is believing. 

Q7. Why do you want to have someone else's baby?  I look at how special my own children are to me and I want others to know that same joy.  To be able to offer someone that opportunity is amazing. It is one thing in my life that is completely selfless.

Q8. What if the baby is a boy? Great!! Abby and Aaron will love their little ball player or ballerina.  I know why people ask this question.  For those of you that don't know, Eric and I have 4 daughters.  I guess boys weren't in the cards for us. I am totally okay with the baby being a girl or a boy.

Q9. Gestational carrier versus surrogate?  I wanted to give you a piece of information about surrogacy/gestational carrier. The reason I am called a gestational carrier is because I will carry an embryo made completely of Abby's egg and Aaron's sperm. Surrogacy often implies traditional surrogacy in which a woman is inseminated with the sperm of a man who is not her partner to conceive. It is just terminology, but I have had someone ask if we would be doing this the traditional way and the answer is no.

Q10. How many embryos are they going to implant? We have discussed several different options and possible outcomes.  I know for sure there will not be more than 2 embryos implanted at one time.  There is a 60% chance of a single pregnancy and a 40% chance of twins with 2 embryos being implanted. 



THE 2 MOST COMMONLY ASKED...

1. When are you going for the invitro/implant?  Well Abby and Aaron have asked that we keep this private, so I am unable to disclose the date. Just know that it is sooner rather than later.

2. How are you going to be able to give the baby up?  The baby isn't mine.  It is 100% Abby and Aaron's.  I am finished having my own children. My quiver is full and my house is doubly full. This will be their little blessing that they can enjoy at 3AM. :)    


Well I hope this Q&A session answered some of your questions. Feel free to email, facebook, or comment anytime. I'm not easily embarassed by personal questions (just ask my coworkers and Abby).